


Sick Little Thing

by last_angel



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: M/M, MILD - Freeform, Mild Blood, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-03
Updated: 2014-11-03
Packaged: 2018-02-23 22:44:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2558414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/last_angel/pseuds/last_angel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a clash between Gon and Killua they have a little chat about the different meaning of their scars.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sick Little Thing

**Author's Note:**

> So this was initially inspired by prince-gon, a cute friend on tumblr who inspired the headcanon of Gon running out of the shower to show Killua his scars and freckles (cuz I love Gon with freckles) but then another friend talked about Gon having a darker side and being a bit insecure about his body. 
> 
> I didn't explore that here but I did like the darker theme (might make an insecure Gon fic later on though) so that's how this was born.

Footsteps pounded on the wooden floor and became louder as Gon ran down the stairs leaving a trail of wet footprints while trying to wrap a towel around his waist. He’d left the shower water running disorienting Killua only for a few seconds before he spotted Gon running towards him with a huge goofy smile on his face. 

"Killua! Killua look!" He cried stretching an arm out, too impatient to wait until he got to Killua. 

Killua leaned back into the sofa a little bit, his body feeling a bit alarmed but his mind telling him it was Gon so he was most likely excited about something weird again. 

"What is it? Why’d you dash out of the shower?"The blue eyed boy fought hard to keep his eyes above Gon’s waist and focused instead on looking at whatever it was Gon wanted to show him. 

"Look!" Gon insisted shaking his arm as though it was totally obvious. "Freckles!!" 

Killua saw the little dark spots covering his arm, shoulder and face. He knew about them. He knew every area they covered and he admitted to himself he’d sometimes stare at them while they changed or whenever they slept together, lifting Gon’s shirt to reveal the constellations on his stomach. The poor boy blushed at the memory trying to keep himself from looking too guilty.

"Uh, yeah, what about them?" 

"I have so many of them!" 

Killua looked up to see Gon’s amazed face, his eyebrows knitted together and mouth hanging slightly open. It was a funny sight, he looked so surprised by it and Killua just couldn’t resist laughing at him. 

"Yes, you’ve always had them. Haven’t you ever noticed?" 

Gon pouted, inspecting his arm.

"No! I don’t really look at myself. It’s kinda weird."

Something about the way he said it bugged Killua. The usually bright, happy, eyes dropped the slightest bit. His voice sounding self-conscious and insecure.  

Gon slumped to the ground turning his hand over. 

"I have a lot of scars too." He added, talking more to himself than to Killua. 

By now Gon looked upset, his fingers tracing the small pale lines that covered his body. Reminders of previous fights bringing back memories, some he’d much rather forget. His thick fingers stopped on one particularly large scar right below his rib cage that had yet to heal completely. It was still a bit raw, red torn flesh surrounding it. The clean mark of a familiar fighter. 

Killua slid down to the floor next to Gon and hesitantly placed his hand over Gon’s. Gon’s gaze was fixated on the ground, golden-brown eyes glazed and lost in some distant memory and hair still dripping wet. Small droplets fell onto his shoulder and sliding down his body. Killua scooted closer feeling his fingers go cold as he traced the same scar. His own scar burned at his side, right above the hip, it was  very similar to Gon’s. Large, deep and clean…like a blade had sliced through him. 

"I thought this would have healed by now." Killua whispered, the guilt he’d locked away seeping out of his heart.

Gon blinked and gave Killua a quick glance from the corner of his eye before looking away again.

"I haven’t let it. I don’t want it to disappear." He confessed.

All warmth seemed to leave the room and Gon didn’t dare to look at Killua’s face, though he didn’t need to. He knew exactly what kind of expression Killua had. He could feel the intense hurt look burning into him crying out “ _why_ ”. He knew, he’d always known, how much this would hurt Killua but he couldn’t stop himself. The wave of guilt, pain and pleasure he got from tearing the wound open again and watching himself bleed…it brought such a sickening but delightful comfort to him he just couldn’t help himself. 

Killua’s vision blurred with tears that appeared much too soon. His mind hadn’t even finished processing Gon’s words. The full extent of them still reeling. 

"What do you mean you don’t want it to disappear? Why not?" Pale fingers curled, sharp nails leaving a torn trail on the dark wooden floorboards. "Don’t you know what that scar means? It’s disgusting! I hate that it’s there!" 

Anger and guilt boiled inside of Killua. His tears began to fall, his mind confused trying, trying so hard to understand Gon because he’d always had weird reasoning but he just couldn’t understand why Gon would hurt himself to keep a scar  _he_  had made! It disgusted him so much that  _he’d_  been the one to tear Gon’s flesh open and spill his blood. That he’d attack his best friend while in a weird bloodlusting frenzy. 

Gon had been the same, feeling Killua’s fingers digging into him, his eyes crazily focused on his heart. He could remember everything perfectly, from the way Killua’s soaked bangs stuck to his forehead, the way he licked his lips with excitement, even the way his sweat slid down his body. The salty and metallic smell of blood and sweat mixing together. Their hot breaths fanning against one another. It’d been the most exciting thing Gon had ever experienced. 

In his heat he’d also slashed his friend, attacking him with his scissors and watching that pale delicate skin bleed red. He had the perfect view of Killua’s vibrant blue eyes widening with pain and delight. The rich sound of his voice as he cried out, his claws digging into Gon’s shoulder and pushing him onto the ground, For Gon, it was a wild and dear memory of when their friendship had been tested. Both their dark sides, the parts of themselves they only allowed to wander when alone or in the safety of their minds, revealed themselves to each other and clashed trying to rip the other one apart. 

When their adrenaline and bloodlust had settled down they’d awoken in each other’s arms, bodies aching. They’d laid together laughing but Gon could tell Killua regretted ever loosing control so he could never bring himself to tell him how much he’d loved it. How precious that memory was to him because he had never felt  that closer to Killua before. In that moment he’d realized that Killua really was his one and only, the one who’d stick with him no matter what even if it was just in spirit. 

Killua swallowed wanting the tears to stop but looking at Gon touch the wound so tenderly only fueled his anger more. 

"Stop that! Don’t touch it!"

Gon locked his eyes with Killua’s looking genuinely sorry, but as always, did nothing to stop.

"But I love this scar…because you made it. It’s one of my fondest memories." 

"NO! It’s-it’s horrible! What I did to you…I-I betra- I betrayed you." Killua stuttered, flinching when Gon touched his face. 

Gon leaned in, wiping the tears from the pale boy’s face.

"How? Because you attacked me? Well so did I. Does that mean I betrayed you too?" 

"N-no, it’s different. I’m a monster you’re…you’re my friend. You were defending yourself. You were-"

Gon smiled brushing his thumb over Killua’s lips, silencing him.

"Hmm, that’s strange. That’s not how I remember it. Something must be wrong with my memory then because from what I remember  _you_  were the one defending yourself from _me_.” Killua’s pink lips trembled, his tendency to bite them when nervous emerging again. “Hey Killua, what about your scar? Did yours heal?” 

Killua’s breath hitched, heart racing as Gon didn’t bother waiting for an answer and selfishly slipped his hand inside his sweatpants, pulling them down to reveal the pale healing scar. Gon frowned feeling a bit disappointed Killua had let it heal but he hadn’t left it alone. Small red marks covered his skin from where he’d scratch it, a nervous tick Gon had only started suspecting recently. 

"I didn’t think you’d appreciate me hurting myself. Had I known you were into such things I’d have played with it more." Killua teased, smirking at him. 

Gon smiled back, licking his lips. 

"Why don’t you do it now? I’ll erase all those bad memories if you hate them so much." 

Killua stared into Gon’s reassuring eyes. He’d always been so strange and unpredictable but that was part of the reason Killua loved him so much. The destructive little sunshine that had stolen his cold and fickle heart.

As always Killua wanted to ask him “how?”. How did he plan on fufilling everything he promised, but Gon had proven countless times that one way or another he always did, as crazy and impossible as his promises seemed. 

Tentatively Killua lowered a hand to his scar, a single sharp claw elongating and brushing against the injured flesh. A small drop of blood emerged and he traced the scar neatly down, opening it once more. Gon watched him, eyes locked on Killua’s finger, enamored with the slow, elegant motion of it. He smiled back at Killua before lowering himself down to the bleeding wound and licking it clean. 

Gon’s warm tongue was on Killua’s pulsing flesh. It was wet, his breath hot, and it stung but it felt strangely good. Killua let himself shamelessly moan in pleasure feeling Gon trace the same spot over and over, mewling in satisfaction. The blood stopped and Gon gave it one last lick, leaving a small kiss before wiping drool from his mouth. Thought it’d been brief Killua was panting, his body feeling hot and excited. He looked at Gon, his face just as flushed as his.

"You’re one crazy bastard." 

Gon crawled over Killua, a smug smile on his lips. His eyes were dark and confident, looking like he’d just gotten away with the biggest god damn crime imaginable. 

"Hmm, takes one to know one." 

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry it's crappy. I'm in the middle of writer's block.


End file.
